Toilet Humor

Now I have been around the planet a fair bit, it has to be said and seen many bizarre and stomach turning things as well as random acts of violence that defy logic or explanation. It never ceases to amaze me what the Internet will serve up that I ain't never seen before or even dreamed up myself with my very talented, twisted and very sick mind.

I offer up for the intense scrutiny of the toilet design committee today, the above toilet seat for entry into the hall of fame for the ultimate device of endless fascination and pain. This one is for Indian folks who sleep on beds of nails in that good old Rishi tradition of revitalizing the body while meditating at 3 AM after eating a most delicious curry that has induced the famous Delhi Belly.

Now we all know the modern bed of nails is called a Shakti Mat, so I suggest this is called the Shikti Seat. In fact this works in a very similar way. On seating yourself you will note a tingling and pulsating sensation all over your ass and thighs and a feeling of energy flowing up and down your chakra centers. Your ass starts to feel deeply relaxed and you will swiftly move into a meditative and blissful state (you have been carefully trained to attain) and all the tension in your asshole and gut just melts away and soon you feel the tsunami wave of rushing sweeping release through your bowel and in seconds you feel like the world has dropped through your bottom and you have a sweet smile etched on your very relieved face.....

Problem one sorted. Now the fun begins....How to wipe your ass while embedded on a seat of nails.....You realize rather swiftly as you lean left or right and all the weight transfers to the few razor sharp seat shreddies, that this was not your finest decision ever and suddenly your brain and mind is very, very alert....The idea here is to promote your skills of levitation so that you can conduct ass wiping while levitated in the air and not whilst impaled on the razor shreddies with copious amounts of blood gushing down to join the ungodly mess you unleashed minutes ago into the ceramic kingdom....

Om Mokshananda the inventor claims this is very effective for levitation training. I bet!! Ouchies is all that my mind can contemplate on that one...back to the drawing board Om........BOARD.... not PIN!!